September 2010
1 post
August 2010
2 posts
U.S. Court Overturns Calif. Same-Sex Marriage Ban →
:)
July 2010
6 posts
My Sexual Encounter with Ke$ha: A Tale of Horror →
As my friend Angelina said when she sent me this link, “This is important.”
This is why he signs his e-mails "Padre Loco"
I woke up on Wednesday to a happy bday e-mail from my Dad. The first part read like this:
“Happy Birthday to you!!!! Just think, 23 years ago Ollie North was testifying to Congress about Iran-Contra…..Obama was getting high as a kite at Harvard…..I had only one chin….and you were born…..”
I absolutely love my Dad.
June 2010
2 posts
May 2010
8 posts
“The “Sex and the City” sequel is why the terrorists hate us.”
– Andrew (via kfoody)
New life plan
Unlike last year at this time, I’m prepared to answer the question of “So, just what do you want to do with your life?”
I’m going to spend the summer in Urbana finishing my master’s while writing trashy romance novels that appeal to the fantasies of 15 year-old girls. I figure as long as I keep the writing tacky and unoriginal, I can crank out a novel a week.
...
Life-changing revelations
“Hard Days Night” is kind of a song about banging.
April 2010
4 posts
Betty White Eats A Hot Dog (PHOTOS) →
Thank you, Justin.
Why are people surprised by Schweighart?
The man was against the smoking ban and he had lung cancer. He’s a fuckin’ cowboy.
And in case the voters in Champaign didn’t know this, he’s an ardent republican. His stance as a birther shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to anybody who has spent 20 seconds reading about his political opinions.
If this bothers you and you think he’s ignorant, you...
“… infidelity epidemic sweeping America.”
– via an Inside Edition report about Tiger Woods/Larry King/John Edwards.
Puh-leaseeee.
(via bigsunglasses)
Agreed. Back in my day, common knowledge dictated that if you didn’t respect your partner enough to keep your nasty bits away from strangers, then you would break up/get a divorce.
...
March 2010
9 posts
Three key arguments for/against health care
1) The sky is falling. If this does/doesn’t pass, all will end. I mean, 2012 isn’t that far away.
2) That one party, yeah that other one … they’re out of touch with Americans. If they were in touch with their constituents, they’d clearly be able to see that the country is for/against this legislation.
3) One time this one child/elderly person said something to me...
What the health care debate sounds like to me.
Representative from Aisle Side No. 1: I’m on this side of the aisle. As such, I would like to piss on the shoes on the representative on the other side of the aisle.
Representative from Aisle Side No. 2: Really? Because my stream is stronger. And my accuracy is supreme. Thus, your shoes should expect a good dousing.
My Pre-St. Patrick's Day Message
Dear fellow Irishmen,
We get it, you’re Irish. Stop trying to out-Irish each other. Nobody actually cares how Irish you are and chances are you’re doing your math wrong anyway.
Don’t celebrate by wearing stupid stickers.
Don’t layer on green like you’re Lucky the leprechaun. There’s no good way to do this and having done it in the past, I can tell you that...
Super-sized mother determined to become world's... →
“‘I love eating and people love watching me eat,’ she said.
‘It makes people happy, and I’m not harming anyone.’”
YES YOU ARE. Did you happen to notice that you have two children who will be left with your chubby-chasing husband when you inevitably die from your own self-inflicted obesity? Or did that just slip your mind?
If your husband(s) really loved...
Contractors Tied to Effort to Track and Kill... →
Why does this sound familiar? Wait …
February 2010
20 posts
Nuclear Medicine Mornings
Found out two weeks ago that my thyroid has gone from being high functioning to hyper. Here I thought I was losing weight because I started working out again. Nope, I just have hyperthyroidism.
The three options for treatment are:
1) Taking a thyroid suppressant 2-3 a day, every day, for the rest of my life.
2) Getting the damn thing cut out and taking a pill once a day, every day, for the rest...
I hate strangers.
Today I saw a girl walking into the gym wearing heeled boots that went above her knees, a pair of shorts and an Illini sweatshirt.
I almost stiff armed her.
That is all.
“As awkward an opening line as ‘I follow you on Tumblr’ can be, I have used it...”
– hhahaa, sing it, halle. (via meaghano) Katie!! (via sidewalkbagatelle)
Is it weird that this is one of the proudest moments of my life? Never will I ever regret creeping on your roommate at the Blind Pig. Typo180, also known as Ben, makes “Star Wars” references and we follow each other...
Sayonara, College of Media
“Over the next several months, ad hoc campus committees will take a critical look at numerous University programs and units with a focus on the impact of cost reduction strategies, revenue enhancements, and potential unit reorganization and reorientation,” said the e-mail from the College of Media.
Read: Sayonara, College of Media.
And for those of you who know my rampant paranoia,...
Ken Doll the Phlebotomist
I had the blood test from hell today. As part of their monitoring my thyroid, they have me get blood tests done every three months. Basically they’re monitoring my thyroid stimulating hormone levels to see if there are any drastic changes, which could signal hyperthyroidism (right now I just have a “high functioning” thyroid) or cancer. So I go in to get my blood drawn today,...
Shoe Porn →
Shoes from the early 1900s to the 80s. Be still my beating heart.
Oy -- Phantom Planet
When I was in high school, this really sexist ass clown I hated would always sing “California” by Phantom Planet when he saw me in the halls. You see, one of my nicknames is “OC” due to my last name (O’Connell). Back then that shit show “O.C.” was popular.
I resent anything linking me to that show, including that ass fuck singing that song whenever he saw...
