New life plan

Unlike last year at this time, I’m prepared to answer the question of “So, just what do you want to do with your life?”

I’m going to spend the summer in Urbana finishing my master’s while writing trashy romance novels that appeal to the fantasies of 15 year-old girls. I figure as long as I keep the writing tacky and unoriginal, I can crank out a novel a week.

I’m going to use profits from said novels to travel across the globe, ultimately boiling down what I see into nothing but stereotypes and writing an international series of romance novels where the men on the covers wear kilts and other such nonsense.

My purpose in life will be to give bored housewives something to think about before their balding, slightly obese husband comes home.

Please invite me to all of your graduation celebrations so I can give this response to your family members and amuse myself.